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Jodi Detrick / February 12, 2020

the life-changing magic of NOT tidying up

Ever since the beautiful girl who would become my daughter-in-law gave me the #1 NY Times best-seller, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, I’ve been a Marie Kondo fan.

Okay, I don’t buy into every element; I’ve never thanked my socks (who seem bent on sending one member per pair into hiding every chance they get—the little ruffians). Nor have I said ‘hello, house!’ because I’d be sure to add, ‘you really need a good vacuuming’ which would cancel out the nice greeting.

But I love the concept of being aware of what sparks joy while letting go of mountains of stuff I don’t need, all with a sense of gratitude. And I think being good stewards of our goods is…well, good. Beyond that, I’m kind of obsessed with books and shows about organizing and minimizing. Yep, I’ve even watched the complete Hoarders series. (Wince, shudder.) Apparently, “I like mess.”

So as I sat with five amazing women for dessert and conversation around my dining room table a few nights ago, I smiled when someone mentioned the popular new Netflix show, Tidying Up with Marie Kondo.

“I don’t get it…what’s the big deal about her? It’s all just common sense,” said our super-organized, almost-minimalist friend. Some of those in our friend-group that night had never heard of Marie or Tidying Up. The rest of us who had, declared, “But she’s adorable!!” and gushed about the things we’d found helpful in her Kondo method of decluttering and organizing. “And she’s just adorable!” we insisted again.

Later, I thought about the friends who sat around my table and valiantly pretended the flourless chocolate cake I’d labored over wasn’t the consistency of dried, crumbled play-dough. (Why, oh why, did I attempt a new recipe for company?! On the other hand, the homemade marionberry pie I’ve made zillions of times was pretty yummy. Slight culinary redemption.)

 

They are all amazing women who invest heavily in others. They intentionally open their lives, hearts, and homes freely. Hospitality seems to ooze from their pores. Among them, they host hurting souls and festive gatherings, lead neighborhood block parties and church services, work with leadership teams and serve orphans. (I’m not even kidding.)

Then there’s me. (Certain family members may or may not have used the words neat freak to describe me.) When it comes to hospitality, I’m overly fussy. I tidy up. I make huge lists detailing all that needs to be done, what I want to serve, the atmosphere I want to create and…sigh.

• • •  To be honest, sometimes I’ve TIDIED UP so much that I’ve missed TURNING UP for opportunities to create connection with others, especially in my home.  • • •

But I’m learning from life’s UN-tidy experiences. It was one of those busy-with-deadlines looming days. So when caller ID revealed one of my dearest friends (who lives hours away) was dialing, I almost didn’t answer. “My sister and I are headed home after visiting family. We’ll be driving by your exit in a few minutes and wondered if we can come by for a quick chat. Does that work for you?”

YIKES. I was still in sweats, no makeup, and hadn’t done anything with my should’ve-been-washed-yesterday hair. My house needed a good dusting and vacuuming, and those hardwood floors were begging to be mopped. To top it off, we were having plumbing issues with the downstairs guest bathroom that had–ummm…backed up.

All my NOOO–YOU HAVEN’T TIDIED UP alarm bells went off. But I thought about how much I love this precious friend so the words “Sure, come on over!” rushed out before I could stop them.

I pulled some of my famous ginger cookies out of the freezer and popped them in the microwave while I fired up the Keurig and put the kettle on. The three of us settled around my little kitchen pub table and were soon talking honestly about our lives—the painful ‘mom-struggles’ we were dealing with, and how God was helping us through. We laughed, we commiserated, we prayed. We nibbled our cookies, wiped away tears, and blew our noses on the crumpled paper napkins. All too soon I hugged them good-bye at the door with a heart lighter than the one I’d carried around earlier that day.

Then it hit me. I don’t think either of those kind friends even glanced at my dusty furniture or un-mopped floors. I had opened up my un-tidy home and we had exposed our un-tidied up lives to each other—for the win. It was exactly as it needed to be, with nary a dust-cloth or feather duster in sight.

Okay, fellow Kondo fans, don’t worry. There’s still time to learn all the fancy folds and tackle that cluttered closet. But maybe someone needs a friend now, BEFORE all the tidying up happens. So put the coffee on and open the door.  And let me know if you need my recipe for flourless chocolate crumble cake (the playdough-ish version).

By the way, I’m glad Jesus “likes mess” too. (Whew.) For me, that sparks joy. 

I’d love to hear from you!

What helps you open your heart and home to others, even when you haven’t tidied up? What’s your best hospitality tip?

Have you tried the KonMari method of decluttering—what do you think? What’s your favorite resource for organizing and decluttering?

 


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Filed Under: Friendship, Home, Hospitality, Organization, Vulnerability, Women Tagged With: Decluttering, Friendship, Hospitality, Marie Kondo, Vulnerability

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Wife. Mom. Grammy. Speaker. Author of "The Settled Soul" and "The Jesus-Hearted Woman." Resister of the safe life. User of the last drop of each day's allotment of grace. God-adventurer who has learned that starting over in multiples is okay. Ordinary (and sometimes tired) woman who believes you should never leave home without a loaded Starbucks card.

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Went out for a BRRRRrisk walk with my favorite guy Went out for a BRRRRrisk walk with my favorite guy, Don Detrick, this morning. Now ready to cheer on our favorite team!! #GOHAWKS
So heavy-hearted. No political comments, please. L So heavy-hearted. No political comments, please. Let’s humble ourselves and pray. #Christhavemercy
Starting 2021 off with a little sweetness—homema Starting 2021 off with a little sweetness—homemade rustic apple tart. 😋 Wishing you all many blessings and a much sweeter year ahead! #itisdelish #worththeeffort #worththecalories #sweetstartto2021
𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞; 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐞.

▪️ 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐟 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐚 𝟕-𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞, 𝐠𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐦𝐞𝐭 𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐚𝐬𝐭.

▪️ 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐨𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐧𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐠𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐮 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐲 𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐭 𝟑𝟕,𝟎𝟎𝟎 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐚 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐭 (𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐛𝐛𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐝) 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐮 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐬.

▪️ 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐥𝐞 𝐚 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐧𝐨 𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐞.

🌟	𝙏𝙝𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙙𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙜𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙖𝙡𝙨𝙤 𝙙𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙡𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙚𝙧.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐆𝐨𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐚 𝐯𝐢𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐇𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐄𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐎𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐰𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐇𝐢𝐦𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐢𝐧 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲 𝐬𝐤𝐢𝐧 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐰𝐫𝐚𝐩 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐲, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞, 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐬.

𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐚 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫, 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐜 𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐧𝐞𝐰𝐛𝐨𝐫𝐧'𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐩𝐞𝐫, 𝐇𝐞 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐮𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐭 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭--𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒐𝒏𝒆𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂 𝒑𝒓𝒂𝒚𝒆𝒓 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒏𝒐𝒘.

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐆𝐨𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝒔𝒐 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆𝒔 𝐮𝐬 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐢𝐟𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐇𝐢𝐬 𝐒𝐨𝐧 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐮𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝐝𝐚𝐲...𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝...𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝐝𝐢𝐚𝐠𝐧𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐮𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠...𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒔𝒆 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐤 "𝑰 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒊𝒇 𝑰 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒌𝒆𝒆𝒑 𝒅𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔" 𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐜𝐭 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐞. 

𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙊𝙣𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙝𝙖𝙨 𝙙𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙜𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙗𝙮 𝙃𝙞𝙨 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙖𝙡𝙨𝙤 𝙙𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙡𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝 𝙃𝙞𝙨 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚. 𝐍𝐨𝐰 𝑻𝑯𝑨𝑻 𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐲 𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐡. 🌟
Since my birthday guy loves dates (the fruit kind, Since my birthday guy loves dates (the fruit kind, and ones with me, of course 😉) and nuts (the kind that grow on trees, and me, of course 🤣), I tried a new recipe for his celebration today: Date Nut Tart with warm caramel sauce (and whipped cream). Oh maaaaan. 😋 Let’s just say I’ll be making this again. 👩🏼‍🍳 
#YUM #birthdaycalories #lovemyman
Hey world. Today is the birthday of the amazing ma Hey world. Today is the birthday of the amazing man I met and fell in love with when I was just 15-years-old. (One of the smartest things I’ve ever done.)
Don Detrick, all these years later, you mean more to me and to our family (not to mention all the people you bless with your kindness, generosity, and wisdom in every realm of your life) than ever. Jesus shows up through you in such tangible ways. I celebrate you today and every day—even in a pandemic year when we’re together 24/7! 😅 Happy birthday, my love!! #alwaysmyfavorite #heisthebest #betterwitheachbirthday
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